


Something Missing

by harryb17ck



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cutesy, F/M, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, Some Fluff, artist!zayn, photographer!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4905544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryb17ck/pseuds/harryb17ck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Zayn and Perrie decide to take a break, Zayn finds out what he has been missing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Missing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [differentedition](https://archiveofourown.org/users/differentedition/gifts).



> i tried to mix a complicated relationship au and online relationship au together, hope you like it!

"I think we should break up." 

Zayn looks up from his book and meets Perrie's eyes. He tries to think of something to say, maybe something to stop her from thinking that way but he cant seem to speak.

"I mean, we haven't been us in a while and we havent done anything to change anything." She continues, moving to sit next to him on their couch.

"We've been doing nothing. When you come home you kiss my forehead and we haven't made love in days. I don't know what else to do." Now taking his hand.

"Uh... um." Zayn manages to get out. Perrie pauses to give him time to reply, when he doesn’t she looks down disappointed. 

"I'm going to LA for a bit, you can think about it and when I come back we can talk." She sadly smiles, gets up from the couch and leaves the room. 

Zayn stays where he is, letting the information flow through his head. He must have been sitting there for a while because the next time that Perrie comes back out she has suitcases in her hands. 

"Wait, you're leaving now?!" Zayn says leaping from the couch. "How long were you thinking about this??" 

“For a while.” Perrie pauses, her fingers slightly shaking on her bags. 

Zayn sits back down on the couch and looks down, “Why?” 

“Zayn,” She moves to sit next to him but pauses. “I –I was, I am, unhappy. I’m sorry but you never told me how you felt and I couldn’t handle coming home to you giving me silence. We wouldn’t even fight, if you fought I’d atleast know that you care.” 

Those last few words made Zayn’s blood boil for some reason. Maybe because he never did tell her how she felt, but it also goes both ways. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have talked about this, instead of doing this.” Zayn says pointing his fingers at her bags. 

“I didn’t want to bother you!! You have been going through something these past few months and you weren’t really approachable. You’ve been moping, Zayn and I didn’t know what to do. Couples aren’t supposed to feel like this.” 

"I haven't!! Maybe its you! You've been asking me to do insane things, Zayn can you close the toothpaste tube when you're done or Zayn can you not leave your boxers on the floor! Like who gives a fuck about the toothpaste tube??" Zayn blows up, crossing his arms. If she wanted a fight, she was finally going to get one. 

"That was me trying to get you to feel something,” She says, she tries to move toward him but Zayn moves away. “You don’t talk to me, that’s honestly all you needed to do. Talk."

When Perrie gets no response, she gives up. 

"I'll be at Jesse's for the next two days if you want to come by."

She grabs her things and walks out the door, leaving Zayn and everything they had.

****

"Zeeeeeeee. C'mon, tell us what happened." Louis, Zayn's supposed best friend, begs. He’s perched on his boyfriend, Liam's, lap and their hands entwined.

They're all at Louis and Liam's flat, on the balcony that overlooks the whole of London.

Zayn sighs, "We just yelled and she left. She's at Jesse's until she leaves for LA." His hand twitching for a cig, he takes out the package and fiddles with the box. 

"How long will she be in LA?" Liam asks, leaning into Louis hand that made its way into his hair. 

Zayn shrugs, now pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

As he inhales, Louis smiles. "Atleast you can party with us now!!" 

Zayn can't help but smile back.

When Louis gets up to go check up on the food that he attempted to make, Liam leans toward Zayn. 

"You're alright though, right?"

Zayn nods, taking another hit. “She’ll be back.” 

Maybe if he continues to say that, he’ll actually convince himself. Liam can see through Zayn though.

"You know you can talk to us. We'll always be here for you." 

Zayn nods again and as Louis comes back he feels a little guilty for leaving them. 

"'m gonna head back, alright?"

"Aw no, Zaynie! Stay with us!! You’re going to miss my delicious meal, I reckon you’ll want seconds." Louis begs, he even juts out his pretty pink lip that he knows can get Zayn to do anything.

Not this time, Zayn's heart does clench a little though. 

"Nah, I’ll pass." He says, catching Liam’s eyes and mouthing good luck to him. He stood up, putting out his cigarette and pausing by their sliding door. "I'll see you guys."

"Hey, Zayn?" Louis calls, bringing Zayn back outside.

"Can you turn the oven off?!" Louis says with a smile. Zayn shakes his head with a small smile on his cheeks. 

"Oh, and don't be a stranger!! Be safe!!" 

****

The next few days are a blur, Zayn fixes up the flat how he wants it; art flooded everywhere, clothes strewn across the floor, and toothpaste tubes open.

Zayn did what he wanted to do, lived how he wanted to live.

But it only lasted so long. Zayn felt so free but so lonely at the same time. And that’s when he decided to make a tinder account. 

It wouldn’t hurt to have some fun, Perrie is going to come back. What they’re going through is just a break. Plus, many people find their soulmates on this website so might as well give it a try right? 

The questions they asked and the way they made him set up his profile confused him profusely. Swiping left to date them and swiping right to ignore them, or was it the other way around? Zayn didn't know. 

He had a massive headache by the end of it and promised to never go on tinder again. 

But of course that didn't last long either.

He soon found his way around, mostly receiving messages from people that didn't actually care about who he was, just what he looked like.

Once he saw that people were interested only because he looked like a god, he stopped using it. 

On that note he went back to his life, somewhat regretting thinking he could find someone worth his time on an online dating website.

****

Zayn manages to stay away from tinder for a while, ignoring the sad notifications he kept getting begging for him to come back.

After so many updates, he opens the app and tries again with his luck.

Zayn comes across a boy with cute curly hair and a nice big smile that he probably likes to show off. If Zayn had that big of a smile he would show it off at every chance he could get. Zayn’s hand itches to draw him.

He had to admit the boy was very pretty, almost too pretty to be on tinder. And that’s why Zayn couldn't be interested in him.

He wouldn't let himself hurt a cute, innocent pretty boy with the curliest of hair and greenest of eyes. He couldn't.

So Zayn goes to swipe right to ignore him and try to move on.

Closing down the app, he tries to forget about the wonderful boy with the curly hair and genuine smile.

The next day Zayn receives a message from the curly-haired boy. 

Hiiii, we both swiped right for each other so thought I’d introduce myself, I’m Harry. Typing this message is just as awkward as it sounds, I actually wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t get a message back from you. You’re like proper gorgeous, like really fit and I’d like to get to know you if that’s alright. Here’s my number. 

Harry 

Didn’t Zayn left swipe this boy?? He remembers convincing himself to not mess with this Harry dude because of how sweet and innocent and how big his smile was. He wasn’t a guy that could handle all that Zayn brought.

Straight away Zayn was going to gently let Harry down, replying with a message explaining how he swiped right when he meant to swipe left but decided against it. Imagine getting a message letting you know that this was all a mistake, Zayn knew he would feel hurt and he of course didn’t want to hurt Harry. Wasn’t that the whole reason why Zayn didn’t want to get involved? 

Zayn sighs and runs his hand through his hair. He goes through Harry’s profile and pictures available and with every picture he gets even prettier. Somehow Harry’s smile gets even bigger and more genuine than before and Zayn can’t help but like him. Plus, Harry did call him gorgeous though and Zayn couldn’t help but wonder if that’s really what Harry thinks. 

Would it hurt to just reply to him? Maybe everything would turn out differently than expected. 

Zayn pulls out his phone and begins typing in a message.

hi it’s zayn x

He quickly sends it then realizes that he never said from where.

He sends another, from tinder x

Then another, don’t reckon if you know any other zayns.

Great, now he’s managed to scare away the first guy that he’s talked to. This was a horrible idea. He locks his phone and tries to distract himself, only to find himself waiting for Harry’s reply.

He knows one person that will distract him: Louis. 

****

When he gets back from Louis’, he strips down, leaving a trail of clothes from the door to his room. He flops onto his bed and feels around for his phone. When he finds it, he’s surprised to see a message from Harry from a few hours ago.

hiya, it’s nice to meet you. was a bit surprised you texted haha 

also I don’t know any zayns x

Zayn writes a reply.

aha I’m also surprised, I never do this. it’s my first time online dating, I’m not really used to this x

That was lame. Zayn hasn’t texted someone like this in a long time. Perrie and he had been dating since uni and even then she did all the work. He never had to actually think about what he wrote because he knew that she would always like him. 

Harry responded almost instantly, didn’t know if you noticed how awkward I was in my message to you, god. this is my first time as well. 

I saw on your profile that you are an artist? I’m a photographer. xx

Z: aha wasn’t that awkward, love. 

Z: yeah? that’s wicked, what type of stuff to do you.

Z: you live in London? x

H: yeah, do you? xx

And for the next couple of days, Zayn took any chance to text Harry. It was like talking for one long conversation throughout a couple of days and Zayn liked it. He liked having someone there to talk to and Harry soon found his way into Zayn’s thoughts. Whenever they weren’t talking he was thinking about Harry. It was definitely changing Zayn.

When Zayn saw Louis and Liam, they noticed the change right away. 

“What’s got you so chirpy today Zaynie??” Louis asks. “No offense, you’re just usually so broody and mysterious but today… hmm, somethings off.” 

When all he gets is Zayn typing on his phone, Louis starts to worry.

“Liam!!!” He screams, “Zayn is acting weird!!” 

Zayn gives him a weird face while plotting himself on their couch. Louis is always so dramatic, Zayn always wonders how Liam can take it. 

Liam comes strolling in with a smile on his face.

“Finally!!!” Louis yells, he jumps over to his side. “Just look at him… There’s something off.”

Liam smiles an all-knowing smile, “He’s talking to someone.”

Louis screams, “Zayn is this true?? Has this special somebody got you all smiley and weird?!” 

Liam moves to the couch, crowding into Zayn’s space. “Who is it?!?!?!” 

Zayn ignores them and pulls out his phone to reply to Harry. They both move closer into him and vaguely see Harry’s name. 

“Harry??” Louis asks with a smirk on his face. Zayn can feel his face heating up and he tries to hide it. 

“Louis look!! His face is all pink!!! Aw this is so cute!!” Liam says.

“Tell us about him! Where do you guys meet?” Louis asks the question that Zayn’s dreading to answer. Zayn ponders over if he should lie to his best friends or tell them the truth even though they’ll endlessly make fun of him.

“Through tinder.” Zayn replies, his pink cheeks getting slightly pinker.

“Like the dating website?” Louis asks and Zayn nods. 

“He’s really cute, he has big eyes and a beautiful smile and he’s so nice. Here let me show you a picture.” Zayn pulls out a picture of Harry, his favorite picture of him – it’s of him at a park and he’s smiling so big that you can see the dents in his cheeks and Zayn desperately wishes he was there to see that in person. “And he’s a photographer.” 

“He’s cute.” Liam comments, “He has a nice smile.” 

“Well, if he’s nice, then I like him.” Louis says, handing Zayn his phone back. “So when do we get to meet him?!” 

Zayn deep down sighs, his friends approval means so much him. He wouldn't know what he would do if they didn't like him.

Zayn smiles, “Not until I meet him!” 

“Wait, you guys haven’t met yet?” Liam questions. 

“No, not yet but we will.” 

“Okay, just be careful Zayn. He sounds like a nice guy and the way he makes you feel and act is cute but I don’t want to see you get hurt, babe.” 

Zayn squeezes Liam’s hand, “Thank you both for caring about me, but I’ve got this all under control.” 

****

Later on that day when Harry calls Zayn, he kind of begins to panic. 

What if he doesn’t want to meet Zayn and his friends? What if this has all been a lie? 

“I told my friend’s about you today.” Zayn blurts out. 

“Hiya, love." Harry asks, then pauses. "And?"

“They want to meet you.” 

“I’d love to but how about we meet first?” He suggests, laughing it off at the end.

“Um, uh yeah.”

“You sound so excited.” Harry replies, Zayn can hear the smile in his voice.

“No, no, no. I’m all for it, just what if everything changes by us meeting?” Zayn doubts.

“Or it could be amazing and it could be the best decision we’ve both ever made in a long time.” Harry says, bringing up the possible positive effects.

“Hmm. So where do you wanna meet?” Zayn asks. 

****

They decide to meet at a café that’s halfway between the both of them.

The week of, Zayn’s stomach gets attacked by butterflies. His body is constantly feeling like coffee is in his system and Zayn doesn’t know if he wants to continue feeling this way or just meet him already. 

He tries to distract himself with Louis and Liam but they found his constant need to do something annoying and kicked him out of their apartment and "won't be allowed back until whining stops." He most definitely was not whining. 

Zayn was so ruined, he barely got any sleep throughout the week and his nerves were ratcheting up each day that passed. He ended up cleaning his whole flat, which isn't much, but atleast distracted him. By the time the day came, he could feel his bags on full show. He couldn’t help but call his two best friends.

“Hiyaaaa.” Louis answers, his voice calms Zayn’s nerves just a little. 

“What if he doesn’t like me?” Zayn spits out. 

“If who doesn’t like you??” Louis questions obliviously. When it’s quiet, it finally hits him. “Oh, shit! Today’s you’re date. Liam get in here!”

Zayn sighs, “What if he doesn’t like me and I end up alone with 10 million cats? I don’t want to be like that!”

“Zayn, who wouldn’t like you?” Louis says, his voice soft.

“Perrie.”

Louis scoffs, “C’mon, she’s insane. I’m being serious, who wouldn’t like you? You’re an amazing person, you can be a pan sometimes but when aren’t we all?” 

Liam joins in, “Yeah, plus you’re proper fit. Even if he doesn’t and turns out completely different from what you’ve imagined, atleast you know. You don’t need anyone in your life like that.” 

Zayn’s nerves calm down a bit more, he knew his friends can help. They always can. 

“I love you guys.” 

“We know.” 

Zayn showed up 10 minutes late. 

He walks in and runs his hand through his hair, looking for Harry when his eyes lock onto a head full of curls and green eyes slowly looking up and staring back at him. 

Zayn’s breath gets caught in his throat and he’s standing there in front of the café door looking at Harry until someone bumps into him, breaking him out of it.

"Oh, sorry." Zayn quickly mumbles to the stranger before moving towards Harry, a smile slowly forming onto his face with each step.

Harry was even prettier in person. His hair was so long and a golden brown that couldn’t get captured in pictures as beautifully as it is in person. And his lips, they were so pink it reminded Zayn of raspberries. When Harry smiled back, Zayn’s knees almost locked. He couldn’t believe that Harry was real. Zayn pushes the need to draw to the back of his mind.

“Hi.” Harry introduces, which Zayn is grateful for. If he hadn’t, they’d probably still be looking at each other. 

Zayn sits down, “Hey.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry for keeping you waiting, I hope you weren’t here for that long.” Zayn says, his cheeks turning pink a little.

“No, you’re fine.” Zayn still couldn’t believe that he was real, that they were actually meeting each other. 

Harry pushes a cup of coffee towards Zayn, “I hope you like coffee.”

Zayn smiles and takes a sip, “Thank you.” 

“Oh, and I got us a muffin. Their muffins are literally the best you will ever taste.” Harry says, his eyes lighting up and his smile getting bigger, making Zayn’s smile get bigger. 

After a few moments of just talking and looking out the window, Zayn gets an idea. 

He offers Harry his hand, “C’mon, I want to show you something.” 

As Zayn leads them both to this place, they take turns taking bits of the muffin and talk and laughing about everything and their hands were entwined and Zayn felt so happy.

How is it possible to feel so comfortable and normal around someone you practically just met? Zayn couldn’t help but thank Perrie for everything. Zayn felt so happy.

When they stop in front of a building Harry finally asks where Zayn was taking them. 

Zayn just smiles and tells him that he’ll see. 

He leads them to the very top of a building and once they get there Harry understands; they can see all of London just from this rooftop. The sun is setting behind them and Harry looks so beautiful. The sun is hitting Harry’s hair, illuminating it to its full golden brown potential. 

Harry moves to the edge of the rooftop, leaning against the ledge, looking down and out at London. Zayn couldn’t help but pull out his sketch book. 

He gets through most of it when Harry looks back at him and smiles. 

“You’ve been drawing the whole time?” Harry asks, pushing himself from the ledge toward Zayn.

Zayn nods and continues to draw Harry. After a few more moments, Zayn shows Harry the picture. It’s half of Harry leaning on the ledge, looking out toward London while the other half is blending in with the sun that’s setting behind him. 

“Wow,” is all Harry can manage to get out. "Can I have it?" 

Zayn nods and smiles. Harry looks at it more for a couple beats before putting it in his coat jacket. 

“How’d you find this place? It’s so beautiful.” 

“I was exploring one day and found it. It’s one of my favorite places in London.” Zayn says, pulling out a cigarette. “Do you mind?” He asks, when Harry nods he lights it and inhales. Harry is the first person that Zayn has showed this place to, not even Perrie. Zayn feels so calm and small all the way up here, he's happy he waited to show someone this place. 

They stay out until its dark and the temperate has declined. They wrap their arms around each other on their way back to Zayn’s apartment, stopping for ice cream before continuing. 

“Okay, favorite food?” Harry asks, taking a lick from his chocolate and vanilla ice cream cone. 

“Hmm, don’t have one. I like anything.” Zayn says, pausing to actually think about it. “I take that back, anything my mom makes is the best, just her cooking is my favorite. Since I don’t get to see them that often, anything that reminds me of them I take.”

Zayn looks down, he misses is family so much. Harry rubs his thumb over his hand. 

“Why don’t you get to see them?” he asks, pulling Zayn a bit closer. 

“School, work, life. It just too much for them. We have to actually plan it out, depending on holidays and if they have homework. And then money. It’d be a lot for us to visit all the time. I miss not being in their lives everyday." 

“Hmm.” Harry replies, his heart ached for Zayn. He couldn’t imagine not seeing his sister at least three times a week. "My sister and I have lunch every Sunday so I know how that would feel if I didn't get to see her."

Zayn hums and tightens his hold on Harry's hand.

“I feel so close to you, like even if we basically just met. I feel like I’ve known you forever and…” Zayn pauses, taking his time to actually look at Harry. “I like it.” 

They get to Zayn’s apartment building and they stop. Both of their hands clasped together. 

“I don’t really do this, so I don’t know what to do next.” Zayn says, a smile forms on his face but his body begins to shake. “Should I, like, invite you up or something or-“ 

Harry’s lips cut him off and Zayn is too surprised to kiss him back for a moment. He finally gets his lips to move and they both sigh into the kiss. They stand out wrapped into each other until their lips hurt and even then they don’t want to move. 

Zayn pulls away and catches his breath. He gently grabs Harry’s face and leans in to kiss him once more. 

“Come up.” And Harry just nods.

****

For the next few days, they switch up staying the night at each other’s apartments and it’s great. Zayn is so happy, all he can think about his Harry. And all Harry can think about is Zayn. When they’re together, they forget about everyone else and it’s just their world, but that never lasts long. They have to go back to reality at some point. 

That’s when Perrie calls. 

“Hiiii.” 

“Uh, hey Pez.” Zayn says, while attempting to make dinner for himself. 

“How are you? I’ve missed you, I wanted to catch up.” 

“I’m great, actually, but how are you? How’s LA treating you?” And that’s how Zayn ends up talking to Perrie for two hours and he's so confused. He likes Harry, so much, but when he thinks about it, he kind of still has a girlfriend. That he basically cheated on already. Perrie has always been there for him, he doesn't want to hurt either of them. 

Zayn sighs, this might end up being a huge mess. 

****

Louis and Liam bug Zayn about meeting Harry for hours until he actually agrees to it, which was only because they annoyed him to death. 

When Zayn sees Harry later on that night, he has a bit of a struggle telling him. 

“Remember waaay before we met and I mentioned that my friends want to meet you?” Zayn asks, secretly hoping he doesn’t remember. Harry nods and Zayn plops himself next to him on the bed. 

“Well, how about this Friday? They already have a restaurant in mind.” Zayn runs his hands through Harry’s hair. 

Harry hums, “I don’t think I’m doing anything.” 

“Okay, so you’re good with meeting them?? They’re kind of insane so I understand if you don’t want to.” 

Harry can hear the panic in Zayn’s voice so he turns towards him, pecking his lips. “I’m excited to meet them, actually. There’s nothing for you to be worried about.” Zayn kisses him back and runs his hands through Harry’s hair until they’re both asleep. 

They’re both outside the restaurant where they’re meeting Louis and Liam at when Zayn stops them. 

“You know what? I’ve just decided that I don’t want you to meet them. Let’s just go home, it’s not too late.” Zayn says, pulling Harry back in the direction they came in. Harry pulls them back. 

“They can’t be that bad.” Harry laughs off. He couldn’t help but admit that he was nervous as well. These are Zayn’s basically only two friends, their opinion means so much to Zayn so he can’t screw this up. 

Zayn gives him a look, “They are.” Harry laughs. 

He pulls Zayn’s hand and embraces him. They kiss and link their hands together, before Harry pulls them inside. 

“Well, it’s too late. They’ve already seen us.”

They both turned to the front of the restaurant and there they are, looking at them with smirks of their faces like they knew what Zayn wanted to do. 

**** 

When they get back from their double date with Louis and Liam, they’re both kind of tipsy. 

They throw their clothes on the floor as they make their way to the bedroom, their mouths almost touching. 

When they finally get into bed, their lips meet. Zayn pushes his lips hard into Harry, emitting a groan from Harry's mouth. They pull away from each other and just take each other in, slowly rocking against each other.

“I love you.” Harry whispers. 

Zayn’s breath catches and body tenses. 

“You don’t have to say it back,” Zayn’s heart slows down again, sighing.

“I just wanted to tell you that I love you, that I’ve hopelessly fallen in love with you. This, what we’ve been doing for the past few weeks, is so scary but it feels so right. So I love you Zayn.” 

And Zayn’s heart pounds again. He’s so scared, he’s never really felt this way about someone. He could see the love pouring from Harry and he couldn’t even tell him that he loved him back. Wait – does he love him? He hasn’t even told him about Perrie. 

Zayn moves in to kiss him and puts his arms around Harry. Zayn seriously needs to get his feelings in check.

A few days later, Zayn and Harry decide to have a day in. Harry makes – well attempts – to make pancakes, promising to kiss Zayn’s lips after every pancake he made and he sticks to it, maybe it bit too much. 

They lie in bed, bodies entwined and the sun hitting Harry’s body. He’s playing with his camera, snapping some pictures of Zayn while Zayn draws him. And that’s how they spend most of their day; drawing harry, having tea, or kissing. 

Harry decides to make them dinner. Music is softly playing in the background, one of them putting it louder when a song they both know comes on. They would pull one another up to dance and jump around. When Harry almost burns the house down, Zayn retreats to the couch, going through Harry’s camera and looking at pictures of them that Harry took. 

“Zayn?!”

Zayn knows that voice, he just wasn’t expecting to hear it this soon or ever. 

Perrie walks into the living room with a smile on her face, instantly pulling Zayn into a hug. 

“How’ve you been?!” She asks pulling away from the hug to actually look at Zayn. “You look great, I’ve missed you.”

That’s when Harry decides to join them and Zayn thinks he might cry. This isn’t happening, maybe blinking would make this whole situation disappear. Zayn blinks and there they both are; the two people he didn’t want to meet just yet.

Harry smiles, “Zayn, who’s this?” God, Harry wasn’t even wearing a shirt just trousers. 

Perrie’s smile falters as she takes in Harry but chooses to take control of the situation. 

“Hi, I’m Perrie, Zayn’s girlfriend. Who are you?” 

And now it’s Zayn’s worst nightmare. 

“Girlfriend? Oh wow, I wasn’t aware that he had a girlfriend…”

They both turn to look at Zayn, in which Zayn just stares back at them. His eyes wide and his jaw loose, he still couldn’t believe it. If only he had a few more days to tell Harry the truth about before them. If only he told Harry. And now Harry knew from Perrie, not from his mouth and everything’s ruined. Zayn can already see Harry leaving even if the whole room is at a stand-still, waiting for Zayn to say something. But Zayn doesn’t and Zayn knows that Harry feels embarrassed and disappointed from the way his shoulders sag and the way he releases his breath.

“Well… uh, I guess… I’ll leave you two to talk.” Harry quickly leaves the room and Zayn swears he saw tears falling from his face and Zayn should go after him but Perrie grabs his arm. His heart can’t help but ache.

Perrie starts talking about her time in LA but Zayn isn’t even listening, his mind is all on Harry and what should have happened.

“…I met this guy there, he really opened my eyes to what I really want and I just had to get back here to talk to you. We could have talked about this on the phone but I wanted to see you and how you were doing.” Perrie then takes his hand. It feels so wrong and Zayn can’t fake his way through this.

“Pez-“ 

“It’s him right?” All Zayn can do is nod, his heart hurt too much. “And you love him?” He nods again, looking into her eyes now.

“Does he know that you love him?” 

Zayn pauses before speaking, “He told me he loved me the other night and I wasn’t quite sure yet if I loved him back but I do, so much.”

“Oh, Zayn.” Perrie squeezes his hand. “He looks so in love with you. And I’m guessing you never really told him about us...” 

“No, I didn’t really think that mattered.” Zayn says, slowly realizing how much it mattered. “Holy shit, I’m so stupid. I have to go.” 

Zayn gets up from the couch and quickly tries to grab some clothes to wear and his eyes and his phone and why is everything a mess right at this moment?? 

Perrie meets him at the door with the food Harry made and shoves it into his hands, wishing him good luck.

When Zayn gets to Harry’s front door, he has no idea what he’s doing or what he’s going to say. He hesitates to knock finally catching his breath. 

He gets the courage to knock and after a couple of beats it’s silent. Then he hears footsteps making their way to the door and pausing. 

Harry finally opens the door and his body is swallowed in a jumper that he stole form Zayn and he would look cute if he hadn’t been crying – crying over Zayn. 

Zayn’s heart hurts all over again. 

“Harry, I’m so sorry.” Zayn manages to get out. Harry moves to close the door. 

“No, please. I was just scared, I’ve never felt the way you make me feel ever in my life. I felt like telling you that part of my past and how complicated everything was would take you away from me. I’m so sorry Harry. I got so caught up with you and this new feeling I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t.” 

“And the other day when you told me you loved me, my heart raced and when I really thought about it,” He breathes out a sigh. “I love you so much, Harry.”

“And here I am, coming after you because I can’t bear to live my life without you, because I love-“

And Harry cuts him off by attaching his lips to Zayn’s. Zayn sighs a relief into his mouth and pulls Harry closer to him. 

When they do pull away, Harry takes notice of their dinner.

Harry smiles, kisses Zayn’s lips once more. “Is that dinner?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you e for everything.


End file.
